Two guides about how to lead a party by Xzanron and Tara.

Leading a party is a thankless job for the most part.
When everything goes really well, the leader is almost invisible and no one will even remember them. If everything goes wrong, the leader will get the blame and noone will forget.
To help leaders and other party members, this guide will give some insight into what a leader needs to do.

This has got to be the single hardest thing for a leader and they need to make important decisions many times during a single quest. This is also the most important part of being a leader.
A leader will many times have their own ideas about what has to happen next, but every party member will also have an idea and many times these are not the same as those of the leader. The leader needs to weight these other ideas, both against his own ideas and against every other idea. He cannot afford to ignore them as someone might have noticed something important that he missed.
He also cannot afford to listen to every idea and every possible argument. A decision needs to be made fairly quickly. If a leader allowed the debate to continue for a long time, or until it naturally finishes then the quest would never get anywhere.
Of course, when the leader makes a decision, be it the right one or the wrong one, they will incur the wrath of everyone that had a different idea. Especially when it later turns out that another idea would have been better. “I told you so” is a comment leaders quickly get used to hearing.
A good leader is one who can make a good decision. Note that a good decision does not always have to be correct!

This is the next most important task for the leader and the one that needs constant attention and high levels of concentration. This is what exhausts a leader and the bigger the party and the more work the leader has to do the more exhausted they are at the end. The players can do a lot to help here.

Keeping the party together - Keeping the map open at all times and ensuring that no one is running ahead, no one is lagging behind, and telling them to get back to the party. This also involves keeping an eye on the party bar and ensuring no one is in a different area than the party.

Monitoring behaviour - this involves keeping an eye on all players and also on chatter to ensure no party member does anything to offend the NPCs, e.g. going through a chest, wielding a weapon when they shouldn't, casting or having spells active that they shouldn't.

Managing Joining/Leaving - People joining or leaving a quest also need attention. Usually this is most stressful at party formation when a leader gets dozens of tells like “Is there a quest?”, “Can I join?”, “Where are you?” and everyone thinks they are being ignored.

Arbitrating Trouble - A leader has to keep peace within the party as well. Sooner or later two or more party members are going to get offended at each other and the leader has to spot this and try and sort it out before it gets out of hand and if it does, to put a lid on it and get people calmed down again before everything falls apart, all the while answering all the tells he gets about who did what and what should be done about it.

This is both part of the making a decision and controlling the party section, but is so critical that I think it deserves its own section.

Choosing a Speaker - this involves making a decision about who would be the best person to speak for the party. Someone known to the NPC, an expert in the NPCs field, someone who is good at asking questions, someone who is polite or preferably someone who is all of the above. This is where it becomes important for a leader to know their party. Many times this can involve asking for people, or choosing the one best suited, e.g. an Archbishop of Am to talk to the Am priest.

Controlling the conversation - This is not to stifle speech, but to in fact to encourage ideas and try to ensure as many people's ideas and comments are heard. It involves monitoring all conversation that goes on, ignoring repeat questions ensuring most questions get answered and picking up on discussions that are happening in the background parallel to the conversation with the NPCs.

Getting all the questions asked - this involves ensuring the NPC has answered all the questions the party members raised, and re-asking them if not. It also means addressing all the points the NPC raised. All the while the leader also has to do a quick filtering job of the questions, deciding which are important and can advance the quest and which will not help or which might insult the NPC and get a negative reaction.

The problem with leading is that everything described above needs to be done ALL THE TIME in a continuous cycle. Add to this the numerous tells that leaders get from players giving this or that suggestion, complaining about this player or that decision, as well as the conversation the leaders also have with the DM, clarifying points and drawing attention to things/players.
Also, most of the things happen all at once. Everyone wants their ideas to be recognised and acted upon, or at least replied to. With five or so people this is fairly easy, with ten it gets hard with 15+ it gets extremely difficult.
Leading is a very taxing job with many arguing that the rewards are not always worth it, and sometimes, in my experience at least, they are correct. Every so often though a quest comes along where everything goes right and you get that great feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction that makes up for many of the nights of frustration and exhaustion.
There are different leading styles. My own tends to be very military. I tend to allow discussion and debate, but when I make a decision quickly and I follow through with it and expect people to follow. I also tend to be more strict in keeping the party under control. This style is best for large parties and minimizing chaos, but it has the disadvantage that it can stifle ideas and conversation and can also lead to resentment when people don't “tow-the-line”. It's most successful in situations where you need to do things quickly and keep the party moving.
Everyone has their own style, some more suited to some situations than others. But in the end the success of a quest depends not only on a good leader, but also on good party members.
If people realise just what a leader has to do, and what a difficult juggling act laeding really is, then maybe before they speak, or tell, or get angry and resentful they stand back and see the situation from the leaders perspective and realise that the terse call to “stay with the party or get kicked” is just a leader trying to resolve ten different issues: one lagger, two runners and a nosey rogue, while carrying a conversation with ten other players and a NPC to decide where the party should go next. And maybe… the player will realise that no insult or slight was intended, and that next time he'll stay with the party and not add to the leaders workload.

Leading a quest is a demanding job. A rough idea of some of the things a leader must do:

Waiting before and after transitions is helping this. Plus this gives a good chance for people to roleplay while not in a NPC-conversation.

Sometimes keeping who said what straight is very hard, with so many ideas flying around. And if you thank someone for a good idea, but someone else also said it, the leader can be sure of getting told about that. If you pause to scroll back up the chat window and try to keep up with everything, people get fussy because you aren't doing anything.

This one, could use some group help. Anyone can fuss at someone who is not behaving, don't feel the need to TELL the party leader and make the party leader handle it. Try to handle it yourself first. Go to the party leader when the person doesn't straighten up with a warning. Another thing members can do to help, if you notice someone not with the party, send them a TELL. Ask if they are AFK, or lost. If lost, help them. If not, then tell them to leave the party if they aren't going to stay with the group. If they don't, then TELL the leader to kick them. Yesterday, I had numerous TELLS of “BlatantIdiot is being an ass, kick him”, “WanderingSoul isn't with us, kick him”. I took the time to address each problem. A simple word of warning about the bad behaviour took care if it. And in the 'other area' cases, I found that often the person had gone afk, and we had left them and they were trying to find us. I did kick people, the minute I saw them picking things up (a quick check of their location showed them shopping in Cerea).

Almost all of the time, there are several ways a group can continue. Each person will have their own ideas. The leader has to decide, and he is often wrong. But, all they can do is listen to all and then make a decision. If you don't think your idea got heard, step closer to the leader and state it again, don't stand at the back of the crowd muttering about your way being the right way, leaders can't always hear all the TALK in big parties.

I disagree with the leader doing all the talking, but I think EVERYONE talking to the NPCs at once is wrong, too. Personally, I will always step up and chat with the Sheriff and Suttus, due to my past history with each, even if I am not the leader. As a leader, I will try to state when someone should take over. Like at the Storm temple, one of Storm’s worshippers. If each person, could pick one or two NPCs that they feel strongly about, and at those, step up and talk along with the leader, it could be manageable. It would give everyone a chance to interact with NPCs and yet would not overwhelm the DM. I can follow two or three people, talking with a NPC, as long as they are courteous. But when four or five are all trying to carry on conversations, it gets hard to follow. One person I will point out, and name here: Aartya. She has a nice habit, of waiting until the discussions seems over and we are about to leave. Then she steps up, saying “May I ask you something”. That stops us from leaving, and she gets the NPC's attention. I always pay attention then, for I am sure that she has a question that wasn't answered during the main chat with the NPC.

One of the recent ideas, is to make people roleplay their way into the adventure and only have the leader invite them in. I am not sure about this one. It is hard for each player, to come up with some reason they are where they are, and why they want to join us. I try to do the courteous thing and stop at each player we pass, give a one or two sentence summation of what we are doing. If they so much as say “Can I help?”, or “Need another sword?” I will invite them. Remember, roleplaying is new to many people, we have to give them a chance to learn. Being in the party is their best way to observe and learn.

Leading is not always easy. I enjoy leading most of the time. Having lived though much of Cerea's history, I feel that I have a lot to give. My memory may not be the best, but I try.